gut (gut) wrote,

I am your home.

So I wrote a math song that I really like, but every time I listen to it, I hear a different song, and so I wrote that version after I finished the first version.

Apparently I can never go home.

At least until I find a new home.

This is difficult, people have been encouraging me to settle down and the rest will come to me.

My song told me in no uncertain terms that I am incapable of making a home for myself by myself.

That is why I can't put down roots, and I'm very ambivalent about it because I want roots, and I obviously feel like Minneapolis is home, but I still don't have what I need to make a home.

I am also becoming more and more detached. I often find myself watching myself having moments that I should be present for. Or worse, watching the situation unfold as I do not step into it and live. I am here to watch what happens. It is not my place to interfere. This kind of thinking is conducive to watching the world burn.

It's all related. When I am a person again, I will care about the rest of the world.

For now, I will take care of myself.

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