Log in

No account? Create an account
gut's Journal
[Most Recent Entries] [Calendar View] [Friends]

Below are 20 journal entries, after skipping by the 20 most recent ones recorded in gut's LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 -- Next 20 >> ]
Tuesday, October 7th, 2008
3:25 am
The rate approaches Zero.
Productivity seems to have ceased, which was unexpected but in retrospect easily predictable.
Isn't everything?

So, I have gone to a place mainly to escape the lures of other people and how distracting they are, (referring to no one in particular) and I have seen the amount of time I am spending on my friends, (or at least on filling the void left by the lack of them) increase throughout the last 2 weeks to this point, at which real work entirely ceased 10 hours ago.

Yet I am still awake.

I have determined that I go to bed about an hour later each night, less due to circadian rhythms and more due to me not wanting to cap off a day until something has happened.

Something that would let me sleep easy.
Something that would let me know that the future will be better than the past, or at least
something that would represent that my life is on a heading that will arrive at A destination.

The best answer to all of this is: Work More.
The incomplete work is stopping you from moving forward, complete the work and you gain your freedom.

And once again, the logical answer is at odds with the emotional drive.
And so there must be a way to fill the need.
And that is the goal.

How does one fill the emotional need of people efficiently?
Saturday, October 4th, 2008
12:08 am
TV on the Internet: A New Age of Procrastination
Can't stop watching, "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia."
Thursday, October 2nd, 2008
2:15 am
Today I learned that Nort is not a word.

Up until this day, I have always thought that Nort was an alternate spelling of Naught with the connotation that Nort referred to the character of zero, whereas naught referred to the quantity of zero.

But no.
Monday, September 29th, 2008
9:05 pm
When Life Gives You Ice Cream...
When life gives you Ice Cream,
Expect it to last forever.

Wait. No. The opposite of that.

Savor it.
Enjoy it with the sun on your skin.
Eat it as slowly as you can, while never sacrificing a drop to the ground.

Do not try to live in the Arctic Circle for the sake of your Ice Cream.
That would be terrible and you would hate it.

When it is gone,
do not pine for your Ice Cream.
Be grateful that you got Ice Cream at all.
You a-hole.
Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008
2:19 pm
Music Lyrics Meme
Music Lyrics Meme

Step 1: Put your mp3 player on random. [I used my entire Music directory, so there's some stuff I'm not very familiar with here]
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 40 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song. [I've skipped songs that didn't work for various reasons (no lyrics, etc.)
Step 3: Let everyone guess what song and artist the lines come from.
Step 4: Bold the songs when someone guesses correctly.

01. Where there's a music shall be comin' out of every car
02. [Title] I haven't slept a wink, [Title] my mind is on the blink,
03. Take a big step after your mother has wept,
04. In the town when I was born lived a man who sailed the sea.
05. On me dit que nos vies ne valent pas grand chose,
06. Climb upon my faithful steed, then we gonna ride gonna smoke some weed.
07. You normalize the signal and you're banging on freon.
08. People you love will turn their backs on you,
09. [Title] that is all I'm standing on today,
10. [Title] on the airplane wings, up above the trees.
11. Run and tell all of the angels, this could take all night.
12. Hey Man - Aww leave me alone y'know,
13. I am a [Title], I am a [Title], I am a [Title], I am a [Title]. What is not, not to like,
14. I've got my house surrounded, I know I'm in there.
15. You don't have a clue what it is like to be next to you.
16. It's a [Title] and you can hang around with me.
17. Everyone is [Title], it's the dance the kids all feel.
18. I am [Title], I am red hot kitchen.
19. When I look in the mirror, can't believe what I see,
20. I will never stop being sorry that you're home got broke in.
21. The Western Lands, day turns to night,
22. Sick. I'm walking. Tick? I'm talking. Down the street, and I'm sick Of the talk of the ‘trick' that's every time we meet.
23. Summer don't know me no more, eager man that's all.
24. Back in the day yo as we learned a man was not considered to be.
25. Put me in a hole in the ground with the money and the town,
26. Orange and Blue, Green and Pink, I see you in everything.
27. When the hands that operate the motor lose control of the lever,
28. Oh [Title], all the saints of god are gathering home.
29. Took it all and take it over, taking as much as you can see.
30. We're surrounded by bones, In a catacombacomb
31. [Title]. Being here without you.
32. After that confrontation, you left me wringing my cold hands
33. [Title]'s on the phone talkin' to her mom,
34. I rode a sex wave and washed up on your shore.
35. I know how to hurt, I know how to heal, I know what to show and what to conceal.
36. As I stumble in to bed, I curse the devil in my head.
37. Your flirt finds me out, Teases the crack in me,
38. You were right-Modern girls always have to go
39. You have decided to improve. You have confidence in all that you do.
40. [Title] can't you find a way to bring me down.
Saturday, September 2nd, 2006
12:02 am
Now would be a good time to mention...
I've been slowly realizing that a lot of people don't know this, but most of my day to day journaling has moved to here. Anything that's purely self absorbed will still be here, but the journal itsself is more or less here.
Thursday, July 13th, 2006
8:18 pm
Eat, Sleep, Breathe The Play.
My job is now The Play. It's hard to cope, because this week I am missing my partner for she is working and entertaining her brother, which she's supposed to do, but it makes me wish I had something which I felt I should do by myself. Which I do.

I'm going to make another post after this one to shamelessly promote The Play Which I hate, so I'm not going to do it. But seriously tell people about it, because this is our livelyhood until we succumb to getting a Real Job.

But I'm not making another post.
Tuesday, May 9th, 2006
8:57 am
The End of an Era.
It's coming, don't worry.

Our Dynamic system is undergoing a state change. It started over a year ago with the simple question,

"Where are we going?"

You can feel a state change,

Things that you took for granted slip away,

other ships you thought had sailed, you find in port again.

Though when you contemplate getting on that ship you realize that missing it was the smart decision.


Be happy for a state change,
if you're in a stable state then you'll be largely unaffected,
if not,
put up your sails its time to get out there again.
Wednesday, November 16th, 2005
8:53 pm
ROBOT! Get out of my KITCHEN!

Teamname: "ROBOT! Get out of my KITCHEN!"

Secret ingredients:

Fennel and Pomegranate


Side Dish: Fennel Palak Chana
(Fennel and Spinach Puree with Chickpeas and Wonderful Indian Spices.)

Served with Fennel Paratha,
(Indian fried bread with Potato, Fennel and Onion baked into it.)

Garnished with Cucumbers.
(Sliced Cucumbers)

Main: Gnocci
(Potato Pasta with Fennel)

Served with a Tomato Pomegranate Sauce,

And Basil Pesto.

Dessert Pear and Pomegranate Galettes

(Folded Pastry with Sliced Pear and Pomegranate Seeds in the middle)

We are now the Proud owners of the Iron Skillet!
Saturday, September 10th, 2005
6:31 pm
Save Kafka
If anyone knows David Pisa's Phone #,
or has a key to John & Amy's house,

Please call me.
Thursday, August 18th, 2005
2:07 am
Being dehydrated is like being old.

You don't have energy to do anything,

You're in a constant state of dizziness,

You're going to the bathroom constantly,

but it's only number one.

I now cary a 1.5 Litre bottle with me constantly.

I always thought fruitarians were crazy,
and should be escorted out of the world,
to a safer place.

Y'know so as not to injure anyone.

But since being dehydrated the only thing I want to eat are Pears and Plums.
They are so good here. Imagine a place where every pear was perfect and they were really cheap. I love Pears. It's good that I like something, because more and more food is starting to sicken me.

It's like if you have a doughnut, fresh and warm and nice,
and there are cockroaches crawling all over it...laying eggs in it...
you wouldn't want to eat it, only that becomes every doughnut.

How many good experiences does it take
to erase the memory of one really bad experience?

And Vice Versa.

Current Mood: None
2:03 am
It took me this Long!
I am not going to erase the previous 2 entries, because I think they are funny :) And it took me over a month to discover they were posted.

It's easy to become part of a community, but it's very hard to leave.
Sunday, July 10th, 2005
11:08 pm
Alas, my time here in disguise is coming to an end....
I'm Gut
I like smut
I'm bigger than Jesus
so kiss my butt

What's behind door number 1?Collapse )

Current Mood: devious
Saturday, July 9th, 2005
1:38 am
But you already knew that
I secretly think ketiya is the hottest woman alive...
she is second to davedash who is the hottest PERSON alive. He makes me drool...'n' stuff.

Current Mood: horny
Wednesday, May 4th, 2005
5:48 pm
Meggo is a Smart One.
How could I not? How could things just go on until I missed another opportunity?

I forget to close my hand on things, I don't realize that it's important to note that you have a tear in your coat or dirt on your face. I thought it was normal.

But you have to close your hand on something, unless you're holding water...I don't hold water, my second derivative is negative, I don't drink enough...One person gives me water and that's a good sign.

That's one of those things from the bottom of the pyramid, we try to build pyramids from the top down here...I'm as guilty as anyone...

But how could I not, Meggo is so smart, everything will feel alright until my hand closes and I see if I have water or not.
Friday, April 22nd, 2005
7:52 pm
I'm making food.
I just built a wall and all I want to do is make food.

If you want food you call me tonight, and see if there is still food,

or show up, but I'm bit flighty so I may not be here anymore.
Wednesday, February 23rd, 2005
1:53 am
Hey guys it's Love Day again.
Did you know today was love day, you do now.

Yes indeed, the special day long enough after the hallmark holiday, that "I Love You." actually means something again. That's cute. If there were a special girl out there, I'd tell her how much I loved her, and I do, but this year there will be no special girl. That's too bad...It's a shame to waste love day...but come to think of it I really don't need love day to tell someone how much I love them so I think it's gonna be okay...

I thought I had more to say today...guess not.

Happy Love Day to You All.
Wednesday, February 9th, 2005
10:17 pm
The Truth. (AKA We're Fucked)
"So y'know in the matrix when they offer him the blue pill or the red pill, which would you take?"

"which one was which?"

"It doesn't matter, would you want to know the truth or would you just go back to sleep?"

"I'd take the truth."

"So if you had a terminal disease, would you want to know?"

"Yeah, it would be freeing, I could focus on doing what was important without having to plan for the future."

"So If I could tell you something that would change your life, something bad, like you had a terminal illness, you would want me to tell you."

"Does someone have a terminal Illness? Are you going to die?"

"No, but do you understand what I'm saying?"

"You have some truth, which you are carrying...I've got an analogy...Truth is like Hot Water...no. Truth is like air and we're like balloons, the piece of truth is a certain amount of air, but the more balloons it's shared with the less pressure they're under."

"So are you ready for this, because it will change the way you look at things."

"Am I going to find out anyway?"

"Yes, but only when it's too late to do something about it."

"So tell me."

You Have Been Warned

Current Mood: Serious.
Friday, December 31st, 2004
2:30 am
Life is Grand.
So there's this episode of the Zim show where zim gets this ridiculously large pimpole, and GIR is swimming around in it and Zim was heard to comment, "This is so not right! It's jeopardizing everything I've worked for! How can I study this planet if the entire population is starring at my freakishly deformed head?" This is exactly the opposite of how I feel right now.

Things are all right. I feel optomistic about the future and content with the past.

I remember about eight years ago I had no regrets, and then things happened, and I still had no regrets but the differential existed and one day I kew I would regret things that I didn't do...the justification for no regret was based on the fact that the present was so good, and every action in your life good or bad is what brought you here...I'm close to being back...I hesitate to say that I regret nothing, but if I don't think about it I don't.

That much said...



I cannot overstress that. 2004 I believe has been the worst year in general. Which means it's all uphill from here :)

now the real question is which has the better prime factorization, 2004 or 2005...

2004 = 2 * 2 * 3 * 167
2005 = 5 * 401

So It's pretty obvious that 2005 wins because it's Squarefree and isn't that just as good a reason as any to grab that brass ring in the year 2005.

Wierd that I have no real problem with christian new years celebration.

Oh well...I saw 4 people I didn't expect to tonight, and one I've never seen before and will probably never see again. But I talked to all of them and was a shining example to Sadie and River whom will not soon forget this night, as I will not as well. The problem with telling internet stories is that too much detail would be bad, but Now Ime gonna havta remembur the detales of thi long intoo the fewchoor and the real storys are going to have to remane aural...I write a lot about me on this thing because I can't get into trouble that way...and because I'm self obsessed...mmmm...that's good me.

For the new year...I am going to try harder to complement people and I'm going to learn how to take compliments better, "I know." will be replaced with, "Thank You." That's one, next I'm going to stop worrying so much about approval, I know I'm doing alright, so stop worrying about it, just live it. I noted that I get that from my dad. My family is not good at giving encouragement or making a big deal out of things...This has left us always seeking it, and not knowing what to do when we are getting it.

I need to figure out how to speak in tense situations, and I need to figure out how to retrieve words better. It's so easy when I'm teaching, and it's so easy when I'm typing, but when I'm in more social situations my words don't come as quickly, and I get distracted....hmmm that's maybe just sleep though,

Oh...and an hour and a half ago we celebrated new years, which takes the edge off of tonight night and all I gotta do now is chill out and have fun.

Wednesday, December 22nd, 2004
1:09 am
I wish I wanted to write today.
I don't really want to write but after today when will I...

Okay so...writing writing writing....Transition is the word of this quarter of a year...this is now 4 months that I am no longer attached at the hip to lady of e, and that's okay because it is good. me spake good here, and she cut my hair and it is good although I think it needs to be a little more drastic, and up slopey cause it looks good after it's warshed but I don't know how good it is after two or three days, and I want it smaller but not too small....I'm in Austin right now which is not the best state of things and it's not such a bad place but it makes my eyes itch and sneezing does in occurrence and that is no good for they eyes or the nose or the mouth or the lips or the throat or the epiglottis or the larynx, but the teeth are okay with everything. good ol teeth, who now have 6 fillings which is amazing because 25 years is a long time to have no fillings and then have 6 fillings...the math of that makes no sense...however it would be lovely if this was a linear function because that would give me another dentistry free 25 years, Well that settles it, no more dentists until 50. And if that is the case my best beloved who then will eat up all the flies and the fly paper and the talking is good when I like to keep typing but it makes me happy when it makes keep going on and don't think about it because this is for you and yours and it ain't for no one else although they be free to come, they like it that's nice fo em, if they don't be a likin' it then they just gotta tune it out because the train leaves the station and it is so cool!

The Light Rail actually goes inside the airport and I used it to get to the Airport and There was a little girl who kept singing and her mom was like SIT DOWN BECAUSE I LOVE YOU! and It was a good time, and I really want to try to take the bus more except I like to sleep so much. Sigh...I like the light rail so, I want it to go through the Uptown and have the other end at Al & Dave's House. And school.

I am not having a good year at school, the work is easier than it's ever been and that leads me into problems because now we take stock and get out the whole education discussion thing. BY WORKING AT A SCHOOL, I am helping to perpetuate a system which I do not believe in.

The primary function of a teacher depends greatly on the school. In our schools these days the primary function of the educator is not to teach, but rather to inspire. ACADEMICS ARE THE SIDESHOW. This is not really what I wanted to be my primary focus. I like teaching math, and for those that get it, it is so Important. But for the kids who don't get it, why can't I just work at inspiring them instead of trying to teach them things that are useless to them.

Not that I ever think math is useless...But given the quandary of having to teach only one section of math classes per level, do I focus on the beauty of the theory, or the practicality of the application? I can do either to a certain extent. The applied stuff is less interesting to teach, but it is more helpful to many students at the end of the day. The theory is far more useful to them, but only if they actually get it...If I were any kind of mathematician I would work this out mathematically...like the book I'm reading which is awesome which M1 gave to me to read on this trip...It's a math book about dating, and it says mathematically that you should date 12 people to bring your chance of finding "the one" to 75% if you can date more or go back and date previous SO's you can raise it to like 80% or 90%....So that's good,

The Negative side of this is that I feel like I want to focus on "Dating" enough women to bring my total up to 12, and that seems insane because what If I really like the next special lady friend I have and then it'll be like, "Oh, yeah...actually I like you and all but we have to break up because I haven't dated 12 women yet." and she'd be all like, "What. I'm just a number to you math boy?" And I'm all like, "No, no, more a sequence of genetic information that could be converted into a string of numbers, but that number would be so long and unique, just like a mersene prime, A big Mersene prime." And she's be all like, "Oh steve you always know just what to say." And I'm like, "Steve, Your Ex! You're not over him at all! And you considered me shallow for buying all that Nare for you! Well go to him, Go and see your boyfriend who left you to go to the bottom of the Marianas Trench!" And she'd be all, "Give me back my scuba suit." And I would and we'd all be happy, because now I can go finish dating 12 women.

Yeah so it's good to be on break for a while because I can sit here alone thinking about how I never have time for my friends and when I do have time I go far away from them...I am here to see my parents...I expect not to see them for quite some time after this...so yeah...thwey need to come visit me more. They have ...I don't care about writing this now...I saw the Life Aquatic last week at the bell and it was super crowded and I was the last one in and My toes almost froze again, because I was wearing my special occasions cons, and A long time ago Keith and company and I, went sledding at lone lake park, and I was wearing cons because I was 16 and an Idiot. My left toe has only recently recovered that's like 7 years that it took my big toe to not be frost bitten....I tried to light a fire...Anyway I thought the same thing would happen again and it didn't and with that I conclude.

Current Mood: None
[ << Previous 20 -- Next 20 >> ]
Matheatre   About LiveJournal.com